Depression

How do you gauge depression? If you become depressed how do you know? They say when you smoke weed you can be depressed. Do people who have smoked truly understand what it’s like to be in a depressed state? Does a person truly “know” the feeling when depression is current. Do they feel it coming on? A person who doesnt know depression are they not able to feel the difference. Is that why there is so many undiagnosed depressed people? Does smoking help you unlock what depression is so you can sense the difference?

You slow it down to the actual feeling of what your doing. You normally just skip by things “brain-skip”. You know how to open the fridge. You don’t give it a second thought. You just do it because that’s what you do. If you were to open fridge faster or slower its because your mad or happy or feeling some sort of way. Your looking for attention. Normal person just opens it. You ever notice it’s “not until your breaking something that you realize the importance”. I use to dip for few years. The amount of times I brushed/flossed my teeth was a little crazy. The possibility of wrecking my mouth with tobacco altered my lifestyle to super flosser. Without that catalyst I keep my daily routine unfiltered. Brief moments of clarity feel like your in a singular zone with tunnel-vision. Your trying to transition to a different mode but as soon as you notice your in this “place” it reverts back. You literally wake up to get your normal vision back. How do we get it to stay in that state?

Is it something you have to slowly develop like a muscle. Is there a way to just pick up the other side. It’s similar to people with multiple personalities. They let the alter come in to fast without thinking of repercussions. What if you go to far in and your never able to come back to your normal….All I can think of right now is Bruce Willis and Sammy Jackson in movie with Split dude…the dude has like twenty-one different personalities and there is a ring-leader of all the states. What if you uncover more of each and every second. Does that turn you crazy? Is craziness controlled by your mind trying to reverse to original ego. Your new ego makes you crazy because you and your brain want to be in original state. You lose sense of what’s real. You need something to remind you of the past. Your typical trailerpark/hoodrat trying to be a normal person. You get brought back by something from your former life triggering that ego that you were keeping back.

People are depressed because they are putting their attention everywhere. When they should be focusing on certain positive things. Your other feelings will subside to any problem and just squash it to unimportant status quo. If you continuously fought to change your attention could you unfeel things. Reprogramming your brain to keep fighting it. You should be able to copycat any feeling without any additional inputs. Some people are in a happy state naturally. Some people are not able to go under in mind control. You have to put yourself as “discoverable” to be unlocked. Some are stuck on the path to finding a greater purpose. We could merely be playing pieces in someone else’s world. Ants could feel same way about us humans. We were their masters and they must think there is a greater purpose beyond their current. We have to remove that need for something “higher”. We need to really feel….really smell….really taste….

Depression needs to be broken up into smaller frames. Picture your playing baseball. You become “in-the-moment”. Your up at bat. Your looking at pitcher. How good is he? Have I heard anything about him. What kind of pitches did he throw to people. Does the ball come in high, low, inside, outside and what balls I should be avoiding or swinging at. Whose in the field. As I’m watching them pre-pitch warm-up. Who drops the catch? Who can’t throw. Is person slow or fast. Then I think whose batting behind me? How many outs are there? Is coach giving any signs? During the batting count what’s he going to throw me? Do I look at one or swing at all costs? Can I work a walk? What’s the score? How many runs do we need? What do I need to do to win the game for us. Are we down by 1 and someone is on second. If I homer we win game. Do people view that point differently? If so, why do they feel that way about it. Say I’m thinking “oh fuck what do I need to do to make sure our team keeps having a chance to win”? Do I care about who is batting behind me? If I have this way of thinking what about when person batting next sucks. Would a certain type of person mix-it-up? Some might say I need to act/sit back/let it flow….

What’s the score? Whose winning right now? Will I be up again before the end of game to make a difference. Maybe turnaround and win game. Heroic! Others might not feel that same way. Maybe they hope they don’t get up to bat again. Does your personal skill play that big a role in it? The more skilled you are at the greater chance of overcoming defeat. You need to trust yourself and your ideas. When do we lose that and start to follow others? School teaches you to be independent. Military teaches you to be dependent on each other. Team = Strength. We keep switching our activity level…..Do I need a single,double, triple. Will next up be able to hit me in? How many outs are there. Can it be a sac-fly…ground out to score run?

We are all individualists. Now we are looking at team. You think about yourself then the ability of others. If I get Billy in and make it a double. Will Benjamin be able to get me in. Our thought turns into a team event where we are looking for help. This is how people think. Some are looking at themselves while others are looking at bigger picture including others. You need to try and match the other person’s mindset. You both see the same pictures but you visually understand something else. Schools pushes you on. Not until military or employment are you brought into the “we” category. Some people are so drilled in they can’t make it. All they have known is individualism. Now they are breaking their back for someone else. That person works for someone else or does work to aid or remove something…..where does the chain end? Who is the highest somebody that doesnt need to help anyone or is this to much one-sided thinking. Still believing in the idea that their is a “God, Ultimate, Power”. When you shed this possibility are you removing a layer needed to transfer over to the other side.

Feeling music is a snap-out mode You care about what people think. Your not living for you, your living for them. They start off as an indiv. just to mind flip you bipolar status to needing someone or some thing. People that are rich don’t have to worry about the military or that job problem. They can continue living…..unfair advantage….123 at leastnintgink. Money make it so your family don’t have to think like that if they dont wont to. That could be a live for thing to make sure anyone who shares share DNA has a better shot at achieving bliss then someone who needs to create for themselves. Home, Lifestyle, Area, we are constantly under attack and not able to improve on our get the bliss status. They waste time trying to get back to indiv. Then the levels are slower until they get to bliss. Rich people have opportunity to just bypass that. Could take their time but they most likely want to jam out.

Some people decide they like a certain area in grey land and they decide to family or job it up and live that style. You have rags and bliss heaven. Do regular religions consider god and heaven to be more important like your goal is to get there. Doesn’t matter what you do in between…your thinking of someone else. Rag life is pointless. Why would you want to live like that? You not only go outside of your box but you think of someone else’s shit to save their lives. I feel you should live your own story. Beauty is different depending on how you look. Your in the moment it’s one thing but in a picture it could look totally different. Why? Should you go with the feeling you have when your loving it….or go with no on picture. Physical interactions matter;it could be that one part you didn’t feel but you feeling other shit that wasn’t in picture. You look at picture with no emotion…your not expecting anything. You have no connection with it. It’s not a golfing pic or hunting pic. The person has no words with you. No looks. No Sounds. Just here is a picture I’d like to show. Your reaction to that moment. Is that your true feeling or can it only be felt in person.

Or are both true feelings? Why do we all have different hot buttons/different perspectives? Some people think of how a body works: the heart, how it pumps, the liver and how it pumps. Others think about how they body makes certain moves. Another thinks of nothing. Why do countries do elections for presidents? They try so hard to not have one person who controls everything…but they need it. They need that higher person/figure. Reaching ten is not the goal. Trying to do activity and the effort you put in is where you will reveal all. Take a video of something your watching. As your recording look up and out of the peep hole. You see everything much clearer. Is depression the same as looking thru the peep hole? A condensed version of your real visual ability.

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